A young woman
brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her
father to find out about the young man.
The father invites the fiancée to his study
for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a Torah scholar." he replies.
"A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father
says. "admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my
daughter to live in, as she's accustomed to?" "I will study," the young man
replies, "and God will provide for us." "And how will you buy her a beautiful
engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father. "I will concentrate on my studies,"
the young man replies, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asks the father.
"How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will
provide," replies the fiance. The conversation proceeds like this, and each
time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide. Later, the mother asks, "How did it go,
Honey?" The father answers, "He has no job and
no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 3. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake relationships. 4. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 5. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 6. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 7. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 8. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! 9. Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 10. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
It is better in the long run to possess an abcess or a tumor Than to possess a sense of humor People who have senses of humor have a very good time But they never accomplish anything of note, either despicable or sublime Because how can anyone accomplish anything immortal When they realize they look pretty funny doing it and have to stop to chortle
SOUTH STREET SEAPORT — Thousands of drunken Santas terrorized Lower Manhattan when they flooded into the neighborhood for SantaCon earlier this month, openly flouting public drinking and urination laws, locals say.
Angry residents attended Community Board 1's Monday night meeting to complain about the latest incarnation of the annual pub crawl, whose participants have been allowed to grow more rowdy every year, they say.
"There was public urination, people vomiting all over the place, open containers and no police," said John Fratta, chairman of the Seaport/Civic Center Committee which plans to send an angry missive to Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Police Commissioner Ray Kelly and the 1st Precinct complaining about the lack of enforcement during SantaCon.
The committee said that the NYPD devoted more resources to Occupy Wall Street than to SantaCon, and asked police for a better response at the neighborhood's next expected pub-crawl on St. Patrick's Day.
"The mayor put so much power on Occupy Wall Street, he had Downtown under lock and key — but he forgot about Santa," said Ann DeFalco, a member of Community Board 1's Seaport/Civic Center Committee, at a meeting Monday night.
Residents said they saw unruly Santas buying six-packs of bottled beer on Fulton Street, then standing in the middle of the street drinking them and shattering the empty glass bottles on the ground.
The mayor's office referred questions Tuesday morning to the NYPD. The NYPD did not return requests for comment
One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.
Dad was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.
My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it up.
Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet?"
we finally learned how to use IM to chat with each other ... now if we can teach Paul....
The Eph. 4:11 ministry gifts work at last!
...with a "little help" from apostolic oversight
just "hangin" out!
the Wonderful Advantage of Having Big Sisters
Dontcha feel the luuuvv?
Can you relate to this?
Never give up ... L.P. on Rio de Janeiro (there is always cheap cachaça), D.H. fighting against cancer and overcoming nausea and learning that bald is beautiful while smiling non-stop, M.H. starting a business a third world country... C.M. getting into film making without going bankrupt, B.D. looking for a job... B.D. looking for a job, S.M looking for a job to support C.M so that he can make it in film making without going broke, J.M. learning to be nice to people she does not like (don't give up, girl!), oh...did I mention B.D. looking for a job? J.H. (the younger) selling 50 pieces of art in a week and making manager, J.H. (Joe the elder but not quite "the White" just yet) getting a Ph.D while devoting 50 hours a week to blogging, K.W. finding her signficant other, H.H. getting along with her significant other, T.M. getting over her formerly significant other, C.W. mastering Algebra and becoming a psychologist, young J., evading eternal damnation in spite of obsessing over multiple sins, large and small (mostly small--think Martin Luther), all my grad friends finishing their theses, keeping their sanity and finding lucrative jobs, C.G. survivng her first semester in the LACC grad program reading two books a week in her 2nd language, Dr. J. putting up with all the acadmic bureaucracy while mothering hist. grad students, E.Y. getting married by the end of the year (economically), J.K avoiding getting in big trouble in DC and finding her way back to her "peeps" in Miami, I.A. finding people to go out partying and drinking with him every night of the week, M.G. finding the courage to ask someone out on a date, M.R. getting a career other than cooking without going over the top with his bp,. and etc. etc. As Winston Churchill once said, "Never give up, Never. never, never never give up!"
Bad hair day in Spain
This is what happens when I am forced to wait for room service to deliver my coffee...by-the-way,I am actually wearing gym shorts in this photo if it makes you feel better
PETE!!! Is that YOU????
How to support your friends when they are going through changes